Diary: A Humiliation for Her Enjoyment

Goddess and I attended the club on Friday night and again, my horizons were broadened.  I would just like to share a portion of the evening that really set the benchmark for any humiliation I've ever experienced.  There were very few people at the club, friendly folks, but not many of them.  I had suffered some fairly taxing nipple torture already.  She had 2 hemostats, one on each nipple, attached them with metal clasps and had a wooden paddle hanging from them for weight.  We were in a semi private room, meaning, it had a door, but the door had a window, and there was another window also in the room so people in the main play space could view in without actually interacting at all.

She positioned me in the middle of the small room facing the windows.  I was completely nude except for the nipple implements.  She used a crop on my penis and balls until I had a strong erection (which doesn't take much, especially when my nipples are involved).  An older leather man was standing up next to the window watching...and I tried my best to not look at him, avoiding his eyes.  I know he was fondling himself while he watched, which made me a little uncomfortable.  A younger couple then walked to the door and started watching also.  Goddess continued to use the crop and I continued to stand there on display for the audience outside the room.  The she handed me a small Styrofoam bowl and asked if I was ready for my reward.  I immediately said "Yes Ma'am" not wanting to give her a chance to change her mind.

Three Firsts in one Night

It's quite a day to remember.  Goddess and her hubby had invited me to their home for dinner.  It says a lot for the level of trust and understanding that each of us feels and made for a fantastic evening.  We spent a substantial amount of time chatting and sharing and having some laughs while Goddess prepared a fantastic meal.  She is a great chef and everything was wonderful.  We again all enjoyed each other's company during dinner.

After I had done the dishes, Goddess brought out a cupping set similiar to this...definitely a first for me.  She tried a couple different sizes and pressures.  All felt strange and unique, but the one that felt best was a smaller one on my left nipple.  She was very careful not to go to far...I actually liked it most when it was pumped an extra pump.  I don't think it did much for Goddess, as it did take multiple tries, wasn't working exactly as it should, and frankly, I think she just likes other things better.  I think it might be worth another try if she desired it...just to push it a little harder and see how much pain and discomfort it could cause if pumped a little further. 

That Slutty Feeling

There have been several times in my submissive life, where after anal training or strap-on play...I've mentioned to my Domme that I've felt slutty...that I walk different for about 24 hours.  Something about being penetrated just brings on a mindset of...trying to attract gazes at my ass...trying to attract others who might be interested in having me.  More than anything, it's the involuntary change in the way I walk...the "slut walk".  Well Goddess and I haven't done any anal/ass play yet, but the shocking revelation I'd like to share is about panties.  Goddess had me wear some sexy panties last Friday night at the club (first time ever worn women's undergarments)...and they had/are having the same effect on me. 

She instructed me to wear a pair of panties to work today...which was a little strange for me to be sure...but I followed her instructions.  I noticed myself walking like a slutty teenager...striking poses...wishing people would see and desire my ass.  The best way to describe it is, all day today...in my head...I was walking and feeling like this:


My Goddess has brought out in me a very interesting deep rooted sexy feminine feeling.  It caused many erections over the course of the day...and had her on my mind all day.

Contemplations on Chastity and Being a Whore

It's been over 2 weeks since I've had an orgasm, and have no idea when my next will be.  Goddess has taken happy ownership over them.  I think about masturbating almost all the time...it interupts my other thoughts all the time.  So what do I do...I write the fantasy I just posted this morning.  It gets me soooo worked up and turned on, that I've read it 10 times.  To make matters worse, I have clothespins on my already sensitive nipples (still sore from Goddess 2 nights ago).  Self inducing the biggest, strongest erection I can ever remember having...like I have a donkey dick hanging from me under the desk....balls swollen with cum...mind realing...hormones pumping....knowing that there is no release in sight.

The life of a sub...who is also a whore...is a sweet, sweet, torture that never ends......

Fiction: A Lesson in Humility

We arrived at the club as it opened once again.  We had gotten comfortable with the atmosphere, the people, and generally were very comfortable using this place as our "head quarters" for scenes and playing.  Over the course of the week, my owner had been dropping hints that because I had been serving well, I was going to be rewarded with my favorite sub activities and even, much to my delight, orgasms.  All week I had a spring in my step anticipating a "subbie dream come true" session on Saturday.

As we entered, I dropped to my knees and kissed her feet (as is one of her rules) and invited her to take a seat and get comfortable so I could worship her feet properly.  As I began my massage, Ma'am started asking me questions like, "You've been looking forward to tonight haven't you?", "Is your erection ready for the release we talked about?", "Which of your favorite things would you like to start with tonight?"  It seemed as though I was going to get a royal sub treatment.  Ma'am is very kind and loving, and since I had done everything in my power to serve her well...I was "Proud" that she was recognizing my efforts and planning a reward for me.

Night 2 @the Club

On Friday night, Goddess, Hubby, and I again went to the local club for more get acquainted time.  Goddess and I have been chatting online daily to keep getting to know each other and talk through all the things that come up between a Domme and a new sub.  Here are the bullets of our time together: