COLLARING Pt. 1 : Research and Understanding

So, over the last 25 years or so, I've been in and out...on the fringe...knee deep in the BDSM scene.  Lots of experimentation, lots of play partners, lots of self reflection.  A "collar", although discussed a couple times, has not been part of my experience.  With my devotion to Goddess growing by the day, and Her happiness with my service...the word has come up.  A "Collar"...an adornment, a piece of clothing or accessory sure...but we're talking about a COLLAR or BEING COLLARED. 



While I have a basic understanding of what that really is, I did some research and found some great resources on what a Collar really means, what types of collars there are, etc.  Much more than I had thought about, so wanted to share with you.  One of the best sites I found was http://www.albanypowerexchange.com/ . 

The following quotes are taken from this site.

The Collar and Its Meaning

A collar in BDSM symbolizes a commitment that has often been compared to a wedding ring. ...symbolizing the pledge of the Dominant to their submissive to protect, love and cherish them. When the submissive accepts the collar, the submissive surrenders to the Dominant and makes a promise to be devoted and loyal. ... Each collaring is a unique symbol of love, respect and a bond between two people who care greatly for each other.

The Collar of Consideration

The Dominant by offering this collar to the submissive is expressing an interest in pursuing a potential furthering of a relationship with that submissive beyond the range of a casual acquaintance or even the relationship between a Top and bottom. This collar is offered seriously and with intent. The submissive in accepting this collar from the Dominant is equally serious in their understanding that their relationship has moved into a different stage. The existence of the Collar of Consideration indicates to other Dominant's and submissives that the Dominant and submissive are forming a potentially serious relationship.

The Training Collar

Novice submissives often wear a plain leather collar, with one or more rings, during their training period. This collar does not indicate ownership or any special bond between the submissive and the trainer...The purpose of this collar is to allow the submissive to feel some of the control that she/he will surrender and to experience a taste of the emotions evoked when a power exchange takes place...A slight jerk on a leash attached to a collar helps center the submissive or signals them of the dominant's expectations, much the way a collar is used to train a dog in obedience skills. In short, this kind of collar is a working tool and nothing more.

Formal or slave Collar

The Formal Collar is offered by the Dominant with the intent to formalize the bond and attachment between themselves and their submissive. It is a recognition of commitment, deep emotional feelings, devotion, mutual respect and consideration. It expresses a belief that the Dominant and submissive share similar ideals and a genuine and growing desire to share each others lives over perhaps the rest of their lives.

In addition to these, there are Cyber Collars (long distance or virtual relationships), Velcro Collars (for the less serious with shorter attention spans), and others.  So, enough with the research...I wanna talk about my Goddess and the relationship before me.  The things that really have "meaning", the aspects of collaring that resonate inside my little subbie brain are going to be the subject of a series of posts on My Potential Collar. 


I hope you'll read along and comment with your thoughts on the subject...your experience...your advice.