Collaring Part 2: Musings on the Internet's Take

As most of you readers know, I am in service to Goddess, a Magnificent Woman who somehow found me in the pile of subs out there seeking a dominant.  We've only been together now for going on two months, and already have made some significant moves forward in our relationship.  My period of "consideration" lasted about a week (mostly online, a dinner w/ her and hubby, and a play session at a local club).  Immediately, many things became apparent:

• There was a respectable amount of trust that developed quickly.
• There was an "energy" that made a "connection" between us from the beginning.
• Our philosophies, views, interests, BDSM profiles were very in-line with one another.
• My life situation (single parent) and hers (a solid femdom marriage) were assimilated into a common goal...potential domme/sub relationship.

This background in mind, we have done a whirlwind of what most would call "training" or mutual "testing" of who each of us is, what makes us tick, what our "limits" are, and where we'd like this to go in the future.  Although I've worn collars for her...one could hardly call them "training" collars simply because things have gone so fast.

So now we're at the actual COLLAR or FORMAL COLLAR stage.  One neither of us expected to reach so fast, but one we are both enthusiastically anticipating.  As I've read, digested, and thought about this "Collar to Be"...I've come across all kinds of generally accepted rules, meanings, and purposes for the so called COLLAR.  I'm going to just share some of them here:

• Collars are a mark of ownership.  Collars mean that a Dom/me has exclusive rights to the sub that is wearing their collar, and that he or she makes any decision that affects that sub.
• Can this mean a sub's non-vanilla life? Does it have to include vanilla as well? In a solid relationship with trust and honesty...my guess and hope is it is rather all encompassing.  I'm sure it's different for everyone.
• It is generally accepted that a person will check with the Dom/me before any interaction, even conversation, with the submissive.
• The Dom/me has complete control over what is done to the sub that is wearing his or her collar.
• The collar means, besides ownership, that the Dom/me has agreed to the care and protection of the submissive. By placing a collar, you are agreeing that this person is in your care.
• By accepting a collar, you are agreeing that you will surrender your personal power to this person for as long as you wear their collar.
• If a collar is not worn 24/7, it is the sub's duty to make sure it is within easy reach at all times. It may also be their duty to place it around their neck at certain times.
• While you wear that collar, it is expected that you will obey any orders that have been set for you, even if no one is watching.
•  A collar can mean many things to different people:
• To some it emphasizes the difference in status or is an outward manifestation of the power exchange.
• To some it signals that a scene is in progress
• To some it's a piece of BDSM equipment.
• Being collared in some Dom/sub relationships has the same connotation as being engaged or even married.
• A collar expresses a belief that the Dominant and submissive share similar ideals and a genuine and growing desire to share each others lives.
• Once accepted, a collar should be considered forever and unless the day comes when the sub decides to be rid of it or the Master takes it back.
• Sadly however, those times are long gone. As Collars are more and more made with Velcro Snaps, Cyber Glue and are more often then not a "cute" or "kinky" fashion accessory.

Sorry...that's a lot of gobbly gook really, but does provoke some questions.  Here are some I have and couldn't find answers to:

• Is it okay for a Master/Mistress to collar more than one sub/slave. ( I know the answer, but is there an accepted community view? limit? hmmm
• What exactly is the difference between a Formal and a Slave collar? hmmm
• Is a Collar any different in a 24/7 relationship than it is in a part-time or poly circumstance?

Truthfully, its not really that important to have the answers.  What's obviously MOST IMPORTANT is, when a Collar is given/accepted...what it actual MEANS should be discussed between the two parties involved.  What is this Collar's significance to us?  What Rules are implied by the wearing of this Collar?  Is there an exit procedure from this Collar, and if so, what is it?  How does this Collar change our relationship once it is put on?

Goddess has already made arrangements for my Collar.  I'm not sure if there will be a ceremony...or when it will be placed around my neck...and I know Goddess and I will be having some fantastic conversation about the Collar and what it means to each of us.  I'm very excited and can't believe things are unfolding as they are :-)