"Does not have the inner ability or mental strength to fight off sleep when tired."
Yeah, that's me. I've been in 5 serious car accidents in my life...2 of them were from falling asleep at the wheel. I learned at an early age not to tempt fate by driving when tired...I just can't fight it. As I age (45), it seems to be amplifying on me, and I don't like it one bit.
Goddess and I chat online most nights that we aren't together, after hers and my personal reponsibilities are finished, usually sometime between 9 and 10pm. Lately, however, I've been dosing off and not waking up until it's too late. I'll sit down on the couch to eat dinner and watch a spot of TV...and the next thing I know...its 2am. Probably sounds strange I'm sure, but I just can't fight sleep after that first yawn of the evening.
I'm getting between 6-8 hours of sleep, and I don't have a particularly strenuous job. My diet's not great, but not horrible either. So this thing I've dealt with all my life is getting worse...and it's costing me time with my owner...costing me productive personal time...making me feel bad about myself for not being a good subbie. I guess in my mind, a sub should be so available, and able to stretch time and schedules to accomodate...and I'm failing.
Last night was a small victory, as I had just gotten home from work...eaten a nice meal...gotten into my PJ's...and not only started chatting with Goddess, but actually found the energy to "wake up/clean up/and go" to her house for service. Maybe it's SAD (seasonal affective disorder) where during the short days of winter...a depression sets in, it's main symptom...loss of energy and ambition.
Oh well, not an exciting post I know, but it's been on my mind...........
1 comment:
For a lot of people, I think this is the normal human condition, to semi-shutdown over the winter months. It's probably some throwback to ancient times where lack of food meant conserving energy, where days were short and nights were long and sleep was all we could do. I used to be like you, in severe danger of falling into a depression over the winter time, but I decided one year to simply change my thinking, to look into the future, to know that with every passing day spring approached, full of longer days and the promise of better and warmer weather.
Have you thought about perhaps taking some form of exercise after you have eaten a light dinner? A walk outside or simply some light aerobics, just something to gee you up a bit, get your senses working a little instead of them shutting down. Worth a try :)
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