Some Images and Updates on the Journey

Snowed in...and listening to the wind howl...wishing I was at her feet...where I belong on a day like today.  Unfortunately, there's 15 miles of blizzard between us :-( 

So thought I'd catch you up with some words and pictures.

Very early in my service to Goddess, she discovered that a pair of dog leashes (moderately heavy chain) made great toys for attaching to my nipple clamps.  They've been used on many occasions and although I sort of dread them...they are extremely effective in a variety of situations.  Goddess enjoys them as well, both for their perfect weight and the way they can be used.  Above she mixed one of the leashes with one of my main duties...foot worship.  Almost every aspect of my training has a component of nipple torture.  It is one of many likes that we share, that binds us together.

Impact play, spanking, and the "reddening of the ass" are activities that are challenging for me, always have been.  I know I've got a long way to go in my training to completely satisfy Goddess in this way of submitting.  A bondage component helps me to be able to suffer longer and harder, and I know that this type of training and punishment is something that will always be tested.  Because it is important to her...it's important to me.  Above I received a nice Rosy pair of cheeks last weekend.

Something I learned at the very beginning of my submissive journey..."a sub cleans up his mess"...is ever present in my life.  Goddess enjoys this and expects it from me...it is a "given".  I've noticed several other bloggers writing about the subject lately, and just thought an image of my "reality" might be apropo.

Goddess and I both struggle with the limited amount of time in which I'm able to serve her.  Work, family, weather, and other things seem to prevent us from having the quantity of time we both desire for my training and service.  While this will always be a challenge, it's one that is made bearable by the fact that the "quality" of the time we do have is unsurpassed.

The title of this Blog, "Sub Space Searching" could really be altered to say "Sub Space Found"...but then again...deeper places of Space are still out there waiting to be cultivated.  Goddess has already made it known that there is much on the road ahead of me....

Diary: My First Punishment

I had failed her earlier this week.  Goddess has given me 5 different pairs of panties to wear at her direction.  I was to always have a clean pair available, in case she wished me to wear a pair to work or had special plans.  Well...I failed...between work...a busy laundry room in my complex...and dare I say...a lack of planning on my part...all 5 were in a state of non-freshness.  Goddess was displeased and made sure I knew that there were consequences for my failure.

Last night, she looked so beautiful, she smelled beautiful and when I arrived at her location...my mind wondered away from a punishment to just serving and worshiping her feet.  At one point in the evening, however, it was "that" time, and Ma'am began what was to be a very long spanking session.  She used a number of different straps, hairbrushes and paddles to warm me up.  I was thankful that she didn't just go right to "the punishment".  Once my bottom was a shade of red that pleased her...she used the wooden paddle on me...sets of 10 at a time.  It is easily the most severe of her spanking toys I've endured (except maybe the quirt).  I suffered for her...I counted out the whacks for her.  I knew that I deserved it and took the punishment as bravely as I could.

I know she went easy on me, as it was my first punishment for my first offense.  But it was severe enough to give me a taste of the repercussions of disappointing her.

There are other things I'll share at some point, including her sending me home with a pair of butterfly clamps that I will be using during my chastity training, and a glimpse of her basement...that we plan to overhaul into a private dungeon/lair.  So much going on, I'm so Thankful for her, for her guidance, for her training, for her ownership of me.  It truly is the best Thanksgiving this sub has had in a very long time.

That Slutty Feeling

There have been several times in my submissive life, where after anal training or strap-on play...I've mentioned to my Domme that I've felt slutty...that I walk different for about 24 hours.  Something about being penetrated just brings on a mindset of...trying to attract gazes at my ass...trying to attract others who might be interested in having me.  More than anything, it's the involuntary change in the way I walk...the "slut walk".  Well Goddess and I haven't done any anal/ass play yet, but the shocking revelation I'd like to share is about panties.  Goddess had me wear some sexy panties last Friday night at the club (first time ever worn women's undergarments)...and they had/are having the same effect on me. 

She instructed me to wear a pair of panties to work today...which was a little strange for me to be sure...but I followed her instructions.  I noticed myself walking like a slutty teenager...striking poses...wishing people would see and desire my ass.  The best way to describe it is, all day today...in my head...I was walking and feeling like this:


My Goddess has brought out in me a very interesting deep rooted sexy feminine feeling.  It caused many erections over the course of the day...and had her on my mind all day.

Fiction: A Lesson in Humility

We arrived at the club as it opened once again.  We had gotten comfortable with the atmosphere, the people, and generally were very comfortable using this place as our "head quarters" for scenes and playing.  Over the course of the week, my owner had been dropping hints that because I had been serving well, I was going to be rewarded with my favorite sub activities and even, much to my delight, orgasms.  All week I had a spring in my step anticipating a "subbie dream come true" session on Saturday.

As we entered, I dropped to my knees and kissed her feet (as is one of her rules) and invited her to take a seat and get comfortable so I could worship her feet properly.  As I began my massage, Ma'am started asking me questions like, "You've been looking forward to tonight haven't you?", "Is your erection ready for the release we talked about?", "Which of your favorite things would you like to start with tonight?"  It seemed as though I was going to get a royal sub treatment.  Ma'am is very kind and loving, and since I had done everything in my power to serve her well...I was "Proud" that she was recognizing my efforts and planning a reward for me.

Night 2 @the Club

On Friday night, Goddess, Hubby, and I again went to the local club for more get acquainted time.  Goddess and I have been chatting online daily to keep getting to know each other and talk through all the things that come up between a Domme and a new sub.  Here are the bullets of our time together: